Can't Fix me
by Emono
Summary: Tony finds himself alone in battle against an enemy he can't defeat. Is this what it feels like to die? Who will save the Man of Iron? When he prays to God, which god will answer? SLASH, H/C
1. Chapter 1

This is what dying feels like.

Tony heaved in a great breath, clenching his eyes shut against the harsh light of day. His body felt small and vulnerable inside what was left of his suit, his helmet long gone down the devastated city street. The people had run away long ago, he'd started this fight in hopes of just that. But Thanos had been merciless and his teammates hadn't arrived. They were still in the air somewhere, miles away...lucky him, he'd been in the city when that death obesssed bastard had appeared out of nowhere and started taking out buildings.

Tony wanted to think he'd fought rather valiantly, at least for one suited man against a Titan with force fields and fuckin' telekinesis. After dodging and flying and flipping, he'd come up with a plan to break the bastard's armor with one hit...one blast to the core, and all that fancy gear would fall off and he'd be nothing more than a beat stick again.

Tony had gotten in close, he's been a second from straight-up frying the man in the heart...but he had no idea Thanos was strong at hand-to-hand. JARVIS had nearly blasted his ear off once the creature had started to wail on him, beating dents and cracks into his suit with one hand and keeping him in place with the other. He'd gotten in a lot of goods hits, but Thanos had only grunted and kept his hold. The joints of the suit locked up, and Tony had panicked – it's hard not to with flashing red lights in your face and a scrambled AI in your ear assuring him that help was coming.

JARVIS was usually more supportive in a battle, so when the system told him he needed help – by God, he needed help.

It had all happened to quickly, he wasn't sure what the turning point was...he just knew that it turned. A meaty punch to the head had knocked him for a loop, and by the time the black screen had lifted from his vision he had already lost. He had mere seconds to realize that Thanos had punched a hole into his stomach, broke the suit's seal, punched off his helmet, and was currently grabbing him by the metal collar. The Titan had ripped the metal down the middle like it was a tin can, exposing his fleshy body to the monster's wrath.

Thanos had laughed in his face, just before a psychic waved lifted and launched the billionaire halfway across the block.

Back to now, back to the dying...stay focused, Stark.

Tony took another breath, this one gurgled and wet. He could taste the iron on his lips, the blood sticky on his cheek and chin. He started flexing his body, though what he was hoping for he wasn't sure. He cringed when couldn't lift his limbs, managing to turn his head to make sure they were all there.

Oh, they were there alright. Though the front of his suit had been pried open, the rest of his suit was in place. The joint pieces were crushed and in response the suit had locked up. He couldn't move, he was effectively pinned like a butterfly in his own suit. He dropped his head, coughing lightly only to taste more blood. Fuck, his stomach hurt.

The two facts clicked in his mind, fear starting to overlook the shock as he realized he might be well and truly dying.

"Please..." he whispered to no one in particular, gathering the energy to lift his head once more and see the damage for himself. He groaned, the effort cutting little ribbons of pain through his muscles. He could see it now, he could see the real damage Thanos had done. That solid punch that had broken the suit's seal had driven bits of shrapnel through his light underarmored into his stomach. He could see them sticking out at a weird angle, about a dozen pieces surrounded by great dark oozes of blood. They caught the light like jagged gems, shining with each strained breath.

Now that he could see them, he could feel them. Deep in his flesh, cutting all those important bits that kept the genius ticking. The adrenaline kicked in with the terror. He tried so hard not to struggle but his heart wasn't listening. It started pumping out an aggressive rhythm, forcing his life essence harder and faster through veins and arteries until it spilled down his stomach. His hands twitched and flexed inside his suit, his desperation over riding his logic. If he didn't cover the wound...if the blood didn't stop...

Tony dropped his head back onto the general dust, a strangled whimper escaping his lips, "Please, God...let me live..."

Blood coated his tongue, he gagged at the taste of copper and anguish.

This was what dying felt like. No flashbacks, no bright lights, no chorus of angels, no roar of the damned or twinkling of the bells...just this.

This was death.

Pain and blood.

Tony couldn't even list his life's regrets, he couldn't remember them. Death really was the great equalizer. In dying, the billionaire felt just like everyone else. All he knew in that moment was that he was terrified. He wanted his bed and someone (anyone) to hold his head and tell him it would be alright.

Will anyone miss me?

Tony gave a pained sigh, that thought was like a shard of glass to the heart.

No, probably not.

Fuck, that hurt worse than the bits of metal currently letting his life spill into the leftover shell of his suit.

This just sucked.

Tony closed his eyes, the adrenaline fading into a wave of drowsiness. The pain was so great, and he was so tired...

His mind flickered through images of bright blue eyes, of raven hair, of a half-formed dream he had once of a man he knew he could never have.

His eyelids glowed a soft red, the harsh sunlight replaced with something more soothing. Another psychic wave? The hulking shadow of Thanos himself? He didn't want to know, he really didn't. He wasn't sure his heart would survive another shock, it felt so weak already.

Cool fingers touched his forehead, he would've jolted in surprise if he wasn't already in so much pain. The digits felt like ice on his skin, just as soothing as the new light. He cracked open his eyes, finding a familiar face hovering over his own. Snow pale skin, unworldly bright eyes...those long fingers, the ones currently brushing down his temple and cheek.

"What...?" Tony gazed up at the light around him now, a bright blue forcefield protecting them from Thanos' wrath. Loki was there kneeling over him, looking down upon him with a rare softness in his eyes.

"You called for me" Loki whispered, as if Thanos himself wasn't just outside this barrier.

"How did you-" Tony was cut off by a race of pain through his lungs, blood speckling his lips with his sudden exhale.

"Shhh" Loki's voice was uncomfortably kind, easing closer and trailing his hand down from the hero's cheek to his stomach. Tony shook his head weakly, warning bells going off in his head.

"D-Don't" Tony begged "Bleed out...faster..."

"I need to remove them to heal you" Loki soothed, that ever present anger and resentment completely gone from his face and his demeanor. Who was this? This couldn't be the same Loki, not the one who tried to destroy and/or enslave Earth. Couldn't be.

Slowly but surely, the slender god removed each shard from the man's belly. Everything was so numb, it was hard to feel anything but pressure. The adrenaline from seeing Loki was dribbling away, leaving him even more hollowed out than before.

"Doesn't matter" Tony wheezed "T-Too many holes...to plug up. Leaking out faster than...than your ego...after Thor..."

Tony finished with a small groan, the biggest shard removed and tossed aside.

"Hush, Anthony, I will fix this" Loki promised, placing his palm over the gushing wound as he leaned down "Be still for me."

"Can't fix this" Tony protested, trying to grin but failing miserably "Can't...fix me..."

"Watch me" the god tisked, then pressed his lips down upon the dying mortal. Tony couldn't dredge up enough energy to be surprised, he could barely part his lips to accept the kiss. A display of faux-affection to usher him into the afterlife. Yeah, he'd take it...fuck his pride, he needed this.

Wintergreen, mint...that's what he felt flow past his lips. Light, cool, sweet...he scraped up words to define it, but nothing seemed to describe it perfectly enough. It was like chewing mint leaves in the backyard on a cool spring day...like taking the first lungful of winter air. He could easily imagine a thick mist pouring down his throat and into his lungs, filling them before seeping into the rest of his aching body.

Fuck, it felt fantastic.

Tony felt a new chill settle over his body, one far from death and much more inviting.

"Sleep, mortal, and know I watch over you."

"Bad guy watching me sleep" Tony heard himself murmur, strangely stronger than before "Kinky."

* * *

I wrote this before I knew that Thanos was going to be at the end of the Avengers movie. So...yeah, sorry. I would story alert this if I were you because I'm not sure if it's done yet or not.


	2. Chapter 2

_This isn't really post-Avengers movie canon, this is more "The Avengers formed a different way, in a way that didn't involve Loki" Loki terrorized the world a little bit, enough for S.H.I.E.L.D. To know who he is and have him on the radar, but he didn't do that whole "destroy the world" bit_

* * *

Tony's head was swimming pleasantly. He stretched, something akin to incredibly soft cotton beneath his body. He hummed his approval, pushing away the blanket that tangled around his waist and legs. The air was so cool here...he searched for a pillow, but found none. That was strange, his bed was filled with pillows. His brow creased, his hands lazily skimming across the surface of the mattress for the familiar plushness.

There was none.

Tony cracked open his eyes, hissing at all the white. It was much too bright for him, that was for sure. He rolled onto his back, stretching his arms high above his head in a rather pleasant way. He slowly tried opening his eyes once more, managing to adjust this time.

The first thought that struck him was: Fuck

Tony had no idea where he was, that was for sure. This room was new. It was all white, a color he usually stayed away from, and it was bare except for the bed he laid upon. The bed itself was a soft grey, the blanket wrapped around his legs chocolate colored and comfortably warm. He pulled it higher over his hips, a shock of worry shooting up his spine. There was no door, only a set of windows along the wall beside the bed. But they were thickly frosted, blocking out anything useful on the outside to tell him where he was. No shapes, just light.

Tony shut his eyes tightly, scrubbing his palm across them.

"No place like home, there's no place like home" Tony muttered to himself, hoping it was jus a dream and this wasn't some strange version of heaven "There's no place like-"

"You humans are so fragile."

Tony's eyes shot open, he grabbed the blanket and yanked it up to cover his chest. There, sitting beside him, was Loki. Trimmed, neat, and just as perfect looking as he was when he'd saved god was looking at him through narrowed eyes, his gaze surprisingly void of malice.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tony sat up, pushing away from the man and letting his back touch the frosted glass that made up the wall "Where am I? What happened?"

"Such noise you make" Loki tapped his ear "If I didn't find your voice so delectable, I would cut out your tongue."

"You know, for a knight in shining armor..." Tony trailed off, his hand gliding over his stomach. He searched for any sign of damage, any new scars or scabs or even gaping wounds...but there was nothing. He looked down, removing the blanket and getting a better look. There was nothing there, just smooth muscle and tan skin.

"My other scars" Tony gave the Asguardian a strange look "You erased them."

"Hm" Loki made a noncommittal noise "Along with your wounds."

The genius's brows drew together, "Why?"

Loki didn't seem to have an answer for that one. He closed his mouth, turning his gaze to the far wall. His pale fingers laced together delicately, sliding against one another in a dance of contemplation. Tony couldn't help but remember how sweet the god had been to him, how comforting his words and touches and he laid there dying. Dying...

"I'm not dead, right?" Tony tried to smile it off, but his voice was trembling "You're not some weird guardian angel, are you? Because I've seen the video of you blowing shit up, and if I had a guardian angel – it would be someone like that."

"And if you were dead, Anthony Stark" Loki turned back to him "What would you do? What would you say?"

"I would say..." Tony's brow knitted for a moment "That I'm glad I didn't end it. Better to go down in a blaze of glory than to be discovered in my room alone with an empty bottle and a gun."

"You mortals" Loki reached out, brushing his fingers along the man's arc reactor "So fragile and tiny...so incredibly beautiful for so short a time..."

Tony gasped, watching the glow fade from the reactor. It flickered, then went out like a candle flame against a strong wind.

Loki's grin was positively feral, "And you are the most delicate of them all, are you not?"

Tony opened his mouth to scream, but all that came out was wet gasp.

"This is what happens when you force light into a dark shadow" Loki hissed, leaning in and brushing their cheeks in a faux-lover caress "When you try to breath the life back into a dead shell. Because that's what you are, Stark, an empty husk. Now rot from the inside out."

Tony grabbed at leather and pale skin, mouthing pleas and curse words, but it was too late.

No one could fix this.


	3. Author's Note

It's Emono..._hi_

Okay, I owe everyone a little explanation. Half way through the second chapter of this story, I realized something very important – I didn't like this pairing anymore. I know, I know, I'm sorry. But I wrote this story before I saw The Avengers, so after I saw it...it didn't make sense anymore. I know I said to Story Alert it, that's my bad. But – as most authors do – I got into a bit of a funk and took it out on my stories. So I believe it's best we say this story is well and dead, and that it was over after the first chapter.

But hey, if someone wants to pick up the story or the idea, feel free to do whatever you want with it.

Love and Rockets,

Emono


End file.
